Thursday, November 8, 2012

My life is, apparently, still Thursday.

You know, it's kind of strange. When I'm going through something that is still highly stigmatized in our society and that most people are embarrassed to talk about (i.e., my issues with depression), I have no problem discussing it here on the blog. But when I'm going through some serious life shit, like I am right now, I just can't bring myself to be transparent.

I want to change that.

Now, for obvious reasons, I'm not going to go into hyper-detail in a public forum. The big things in my life rarely affect only me, and I want to protect those who don't get a say in what I write here. So without really elaborating, suffice to say that I am going through some Serious Life Shit. (I feel like it deserves title caps. That's how important it is.) This is stuff that requires some real soul-searching and contemplation.

I don't like those things.

The fact is, I'd prefer to live in the bubble in my head, the one that tells me that I should just leave everything alone and it'll work itself out. But life doesn't work like that. Life requires me to examine, and consider, and decide. And then I get too wrapped up in my head, and I want to just say, "Screw this, I'm done with all of it." But the fact is, it's still Thursday, and I still need it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm gonna try to force myself to do some real soul-searching over the next few months. I might even make a major life change. (If you know me at all, you know this is a terrifying concept to me. Seriously, it's the flat-out scariest thing I can think of.) Or who knows, maybe I'll decide, through my soul-searching, that a major change isn't necessary. Maybe I'll decide that working through a problem is better than making it go away as fast as possible.

Sorry for being so cryptic today. Sometimes, you just have to get some junk off your chest.


  1. Wow. Serious stuff going on in your head. If I can help in any way, even just as a sounding board, e-mail me. I'm rooting for you.


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