Dear neighbors,

Dear girls-who-live-in-the-other-half-of-our-duplex,

I hope I didn't disturb you with my frantic vacuuming late Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning. I know how rude it is to perform loud chores in the wee hours, when normal people are trying to sleep. But you see, little Spazzy (our cat) was at the emergency vet with a serious case of stupid/hey-let's-see-what-happens-when-I-eat-Christmas-decorations, and I had to rid the house of tinsel remnants prior to rushing back out the door to pick her up before the on-call doctor's shift ended at 2 a.m. I was already overtired and a little panicky at that point, and it only got worse when we brought Spazzy home and realized the sedative she'd been given--ketamine, known on the street as a rave drug called "special K"--hadn't worn off. Did you know cats can cry? Like, actual tears coming out their eyes? I didn't, until the other night, when I found out that ketamine's side effects include reduced blinking and crazy-dilated eyes, which in turn causes intense watering. It also causes cats (and people, I suppose) to completely lose their grip on reality. Spazzy couldn't figure out how to put her feet under her when she accidentally rolled onto her back. But I digress.

You have a cat, too, so this seems like a great time to mention that tinsel in any form, even an unassuming short garland, is dangerous for pets. Even if your cat doesn't usually eat stuff she's not supposed to. Even if you had the tinsel up last year and she didn't so much as sniff at it.

The good news is, Spazzy will be fine. She's had a few invasive butt-checking procedures this week, and Matt's and my wallets are a little worse for the wear after all the vet trips, but overall we really lucked out. Because you are cat owners too, I'm sure you can relate to the reckless sense of panic you're stricken with when something bad happens to a beloved pet. And so, I hope you'll forgive me for my loud vacuuming and borderline hysteria in the wee hours of Tuesday night.

Sincerely,
Emma